Monday, July 31, 2006
this morning after the lec,i had my practical assessment...i got hand scrubbing....yeah...i passed.i was so afraid that i got eye dressing....later got theory test....haiz.....later then study la coz got 3 hrs of break...wondering how's his school today....
sometimes its really hard to make a decision,
your mind and your heart,
which should you follow?
does your mind really tells you what to do?
is it what your heart really want?
who is controlling who?
is it your mind that control or your heart?
from my point of view,i will just follow what my heart wans...you may think that it is stupid doing it but things that i do are truely what my heart told me to do.i dun wan ended up regretting in not doing/telling things that i wanted to say.sometimes i wondered alot of things....hmm....maybe i think too much...dear....i will wait till the day where you tell me 'lets patch'.
| a simple day. 1:11 PM
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Sunday, July 30, 2006
the day before,i went to jmd..long time nvr go le....met some of our seniors...really long time nvr see them le....esp...xm,dan,wendy and steve also.he dyed his hair le...hmm.....nearly cant recognised him...wahah....i got slight flu and cough...and sneezing....something is not right with me....i think its coz i went under the rain....went to wp after having lunch with them to study then after that feeling not so good...throat became warm..i think i am sick...
today,wake up feel very uncomfortable and hot...i am really sick le...voice changes....sleep the whole afternoon after taking the medicine....still have a little flu and slight cough...die lo....tomorrow assessment...how??if i kena,handwashing...how??i cant scrub coz gotta be in good health status....dielo....am i stress myself too much??is this the exam sick??today really dun have the mood to study....
though i am sick..you are still always on my mind...really miss ya...hope to see you.tomorrow you are starting school le...ganbatte....a new semenster...1more sem....jia you....dun always play play.....i know you can do it...
| a simple day. 8:33 PM
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Friday, July 28, 2006
am i tough enough to hold back all the tears and bring myself a smile??i cant....i am still not strong enough...why do i still cry for you???didnt i tell myself not to cry again since i made the decision to be friend with you?knowing that you dont feel so guilty and much happier than before,i am happy also...ah...i always think for others,do i think of my own feeling??haiz.....there are things that i wanted to say but jus keep it inside to myself coz i will say it when i really mean it....last time you asked me to tell you watever is in my thought but i jus refused to tell coz i dun think its time to tell you yet...until yesterday,i told you watever is in my thought but it is to no avail....it will jus make you feel guiltier.thanks for lending your ears to me...
i dun wan anything to happen to you.i am really afraid that i never get to see you again...you are very impt to me.i dun wish to lose you.dun make me worry.....
| a simple day. 12:32 PM
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
being thinking of you now and then...sometimes i really wonder do i really treated you as a friend or still as my bf?everytime i wonder your whereabout and also worry for you.i really wanna tell you that i am actually concern about you but just dun dare to tell you coz i told myself i am jus only your friend and i am not anybody else to you...i am really happy to meet you...happy to see you smile....i really miss you....sometimes i really feel like calling you 'dear'again....
dear...you are always in my heart,you are always the one i think of every day,you light up my life and brings me hope,you are always by my side whenever i need you, you are always the one...that i always love....
| a simple day. 10:23 AM
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
do you believe that i am not at school???by right i am on the train on the way to school.i tot the class starts at 10...today class starts at 11...very tired...dun feel like waking up so early...
yesterday was very fun and enjoying....after school james and i went to sungai buloh,which is at somewhere at kranji..the breezes and the scenery was very nice....i took some pic...it reminds me of my home(brunei).it has being a long time i walked like that..though it was a hot and sunny day and a long walk to sungai buloh wetland reserves,i feel that it is worth going there...it brings back lots of memories i had with my parents..i used to go adventuring with them esp during the weekend.the reserves closes at 7pm so we got to make a faster move to finish one part of the reserve.due to time constrain,we didnt go the other part of the reserves which is takes abt 2 to 3 hrs to finished the whole reserves...1 sad thing abt yesterday is i cant go up to the tower to look at the scenery....it is under re-painting...wasted sia....i believe the scenery must be very beautiful up there....before going for dinner,we went to kranji beach...it reminds me of my childhood days....swings,see-saw,etc....wish that i am still a kid....no worries...wahaha....we walked along the kranji dam...the view was very cool and beautiful...too bad,i cant take a pic of it coz my hp cam has very limited spaces....finally,we reached the bus-stop....actually we can take the bus stop which is nearer to the reserve but.......hmmm.......we took a long walk to another bus stop which is after the kranji dam...but no regret in walking along the dam...i wonder when can we go there again to finish the rest of the reserves....hmm....actually plan to go there this coming sunday but i got theory and pratical test on next monday....hmm...see how la...maybe can go there...provided i start studying this few days...later brendy joined us for dinner...plan to eat kfc but i think brendy is sick if ti le...so we went to long john silver....after that went to popular looking for pen-like touch but they didnt sell...so we just go walk ard cwp...all shops are closing...james got to wait for his brother to pick him up...so we acc him to wait a while...i really enjoy myself...
to james:thanks for bringing me to such a peaceful and cool place.....thats so sweet of you...:).hope you enjoy urself too...i will be much more happier to see you enjoying urself..unknowingly,you find out that we do have some things in common...thanks.
| a simple day. 10:14 AM
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
i was having a bad headache yesterday but couldnt sleep well due to the weather... i find it hot yesterday night...today i refused to wake up coz when i was about to have a nice and good sleep...its time to wake up...yesterday glad that we still able to talk as per normal...next week i got lots of things on...next monday,i am going to have HS3054 thoery and practical test...die lo..total of two presentations next week...havent completed...not much mood to do....
pls give me the strenght to carry on and the determination to continue to be a nurse...being thinking of you...really miss you...i believe in miracles....
| a simple day. 1:08 PM
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Monday, July 24, 2006
there are few times where i really hate you....and i even deleted your contact no from my contact but in the end i saved it back becoz of my soft heartedness....i just cant bear to lost track with you....though we never know what will happen in the future,(to be frank)i tot of being with you for the rest of my life...to be your future wife and start of a family with you.being crying past few days...i am very tired coz no matter how many days or months i cried,the fact will not change....i think through lots of things....my history repeated again...maybe i have faith that you will not make my history repeat but in the end.....you disappoint me...this is y i repeatedly said 'friends isnt wat i wan'.but now i decided to be friends again coz of several reasons....jus like you have your own reasons in why you insisted on breaking...dun feel guilty or bad...you are not to be blame....i dun wan you to get so unhappy or worry.dun worry...starting from the time i said we can be friends....i will not cry again for you again.i just need to accept the fact....you are forgiven...
| a simple day. 12:53 PM
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Friday, July 21, 2006
i finally have the courage to call you and msg you...i finally realised that i cant go against myself....i am still so weak....i wish to know what you are doing and other stuffs....though i said'you no need to explain so much..since we are jus friends' but in my heart,i wanted to know....y am i like that??since we are not couples anymore,y do i still care for you?why do i keep waiting??these days,i have been fa dai-ing....all day long thinking of you....i almost lost my lanyard....luckily my friend from other group saw it...if not,it will be lost...though i am physically in school but spiritually i am not....i missed a lec this morning and plan to go for lab only but in the end i decided to go for my tutorial....why happened to me???i started to skip lec le....i really have no mood...every where i go,i think of the days we had together and things we do....i dun feel like going home so early coz it reminds me of that time when you came to my house....when i saw other couples,i think of you....i am going crazy le....is this call avoiding?the fear is back to me again....sometimes i really hate you....
this evening went bukit batok eat dinner with brendy....today was racial harmony day so i was like searching for the racial harmony pin that our lecturer gave us...suddenly...you know what i found???i found the handphone accessory that i gave it back to you the other day in my bag...i was so surprised that it was in my bag all these time....so happy...after that call you up and asked....feel like we were like before again....chatting over the phone....really miss you.....
| a simple day. 2:58 PM
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
lin jun jie-zhi dui ni shou
Zhan zai ji mo de wu tai shang
Deng guang xia tuo zhe zi ji de ying zi
Yin yue chong fu wo men gong tong de you shang
Bu shi mei yi ci de yan chang
Jiu ke yi dan wang ming tian mei you ni
In my heart we'll never be apart
＊Can liu shou shang de xiang wei ti xing wo
Zai shu wei xiang ji li liu xia de cheng nuo
Mei yi feng jian xun chuan chu de si nian
Dou dui ni shuo
＃Sa Rang Hae Yo means I love you
Dai biao zhe wo li bu kai ni
Mei fen mei miao mei yi ge sheng yin
Zhi you ni sa jiao hui rang wo wei xiao
Sa Rang Hae Yo zhi dui ni shuo
I will love you and forever more
Wo da ying baby you will see
Mei yi ge wo dou shu yu ni
repeat ＊,＃,＃
Oh baby I will love you because
Wo dou shu yu ni yeah
i find this song very meaningful...i dun know if you got read my blog or not but i just wanna say i been thinking of you...you asked me' y my ears turn red?why i suddenly feel so hot?'.do you know y?its all coz i am so happy to see you.i even dreamt of you...dreamt that we were together again....i really miss you.....
| a simple day. 3:35 PM
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
yesaterday i asked you out coz i really cant stand it anymore...all day long,my heart s really aching and couldnt wear a smile on my face....i felt very terrible.so we met at cwp...to tell you the truth,i am still on the denial stage....still cant accept that we are not together anymore....i cried and cried just because of this...i really dun wanna break with you.i returned you the handphone accessory coz if i keep it,i will keep thinking of the days we were together...maybe this is one way of avoiding ba....pls dun treat me so nice.....the more you treat me nice,the more you gave me hope.....i asked for the favour coz i wanna keep it forever in my mind and dun wanna forget the feeling of it...it is really warm and 'sing fu'.i will never forget this particular moment.let nature takes it course ba....i sent you a msg this morning(at 2+am)telling you that i reached home le.....i dun know why i did.....maybe i dun wan you to worry ba....or maybe i am too used to telling you that..i nvr expect that you will reply me(though i waited for you for you reply).i just dun know why i just keep waiting for your msg....once i received it,i was thinking should i reply or should i not....i decided not to coz i wan myself to get rid of the habit in msg-ing you.....but i am always there thinking of wat you are doing...ah.....help me...when can i stop thinking of you??when can i go back to myself??i really regret in always asking you to consider to find another girl and also always mentioned the word' break up'...so when ann told me that she also break up,i told her one sentence'must always treassue your r/s whenever possible.dun mention 'break up' so easily...'.
to KKL: i know you guys worry for me....jus give me some time to get over him....at this point of time,pls let me be like that ba....i know you guys cant stand me keep on asking the same ques over and over again.....jus let me be ba......i just too 'into'him..hope you guys understand how i feel...maybe you guys have not find someone who really love ba....the feeling of getting over a particular person is very terrible...its easy for u all to say just forget about him but the fact is,it is really tough for me to do it...esp someone whom i already think of being with forever....all i need is time....sorry if watever i wrote hurt you all but this is how i feel....
| a simple day. 3:59 PM
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Monday, July 17, 2006
yesterday night after i blog and got consulted by some of my friends....i couldnt sleep.i was lying on my bed thinking of things that happened.....this morning when i woke up,i cried again while hugging the doggie.my eyes very painful now...my mood was very down this morning...no appetide to eat also....now at eplaza with the rest...hannah went to hospital to do her check up....later after class,got group meeting and dun know wat time it will ends.....sori to say that i am not in a mood to do projects....my mind was thinking of him.....being thinking of him all day and i tried not to think of him but i jus cant.
| a simple day. 12:55 PM
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yesterday we broke up....we tried to talked things out but things dont work out...all you said is you are 'sorry'but do you know how much my heart hurts??i dun wan you to say that you are sorry....it really hurts me alot.....i cried for the whole day just because of this word....no matter wat i said i think also no use coz it wont change ur decision....to be frank,friends isnt wat i wan...i wan you to be the one i truly love...do you know how important you are to me??do you know that how much i wanna be still be with you?many pp consulted me and asked me to jus move on and forget abt you but i believe that there will be miracles...i believe that since we still like each other,miracles can happened....i dun find a reason why i should find a better guy or even move on...you are the guy that is worth putting so much time,effort and energy in....its simpy all becoz i love you...you asked am i ok??actually i am not....my heart breaks....esp when you told me to move on...i think of you every moments and wherever i go...when i think of you,tears will jus run down my cheeks naturally....
| a simple day. 12:44 AM
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Saturday, July 15, 2006
these days alots of unhapiness occurs in my r/s...am i expecting too much?whats the causes of it?i am the causes of it....maybe i should not put so much hope at the first place.the more hope i put,the more disappointed i am.all these things happened coz i really hope i can meet you....i really miss you....it really hurts when you told me that we are unable to meet(last min).y did i do all stupid things like asking for a movie when i already know that you cant make it???y???why do i put hopes on even small little things like that?i ever thought of will you be waiting for me till the movie ends....i kept on hoping that you will turn up but i told myself it already late....its impossible to happen.when i was at the taxi stand...i kept on looking toward the mrt station...y did i do that?believing that there is miracles....yesterday,i waited at woodlands point.what am i waiting for?i intended to call you up and tell you i am there to give you a small surprise but when i knew that you are at the workshop...i hang up(decided not to tell you)and then called you back telling you that i am at woodland point...i was there thinking will you turn up....so i waited....
when i asked you,do you regret accepting me as you gf....your ans was i dun know...do you know my heart break?maybe i really am not the kind of girl that you are looking for. maybe its time for you to find a better girl with not so much expectation and a girl with good attitude...maybe you can be much more happier when we go on our own way...you no need to pleased me....you wouldnt have so much expectation to reach...you have nothing to wory about...
while typing this particular blog,i cried....y i cried??is this really wat i wan??all i think of is how you feel....do i think abt how i actually feel?i can be strong outside but i am not at all strong inside....i really hope that there is miracles.....
| a simple day. 12:03 PM
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006
last fri,kkl outing to cine and lau pa sa...max emo for the whole day coz his camera dropped on the floor...ann didnt join us coz she got things to settle with xe...things finally settled le....they patched back...
on sat,i worked till 9.30pm then i went to thin's bbq at east coast....so far....but i think is worth it coz to celebrate her graduation....she went back to brunei on sunday...
on sunday i tot i got work but in the end no work so went to ann's house....we slack at her house for the whole day.her mum treated us pizzza hut and her mum cooked porridge esp for max coz he is sick....later in the evening we watched pirates the carribean together...i reached home abt 11+.
yesterday after school went bugis to buy bag...before that,we acc xiau di go funan to fix his camera....at bugis,we shopped from one bag shops to another....haha...as usual,i am very undecisive so it will take a longer time for me to decide which bag to buy...
today,going funan again coz max wanna take a look a new cameras....he is planning to trade in his camera.....
these days didnt get to meet dear dear coz he is working....i wanna him to rest more coz he seems like very tired.....wake up very in the morning and reached home so late.moreover his jobs isnt an easy job.....really miss him....
thses days in school,i learned how to do hand scrubbing....it is very tiring coz i got to scrub 15 times each steps....then repeatedly do for times....as for the scrubbing method,i got to scrub my hands every edges of my hands 30times with brush.veyr painful....sian......
lots of presentations are coming up.....and also lots of e tutorial to do....very tired.....
really feel like sleeping now....weather is so nice to sleep.....
| a simple day. 12:17 PM
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Thursday, July 06, 2006
yesterday was brendy's 19th birthday...we(mei ling,gin,james,brendy and me)went k at amk..after that we went sumo house eat dinner...i joined them after my class at 3...while k-ing,ann msg me....i was stunned by her msg....haiz...dun mention.its her choice...there is nothing i can do or advise....hope that she is not harsh when she made the decision.....
today was a boring day for me...only got 2 hrs of lectures and a long break in between...sianz...
| a simple day. 12:44 PM
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Monday, July 03, 2006
finally end of attachment le....there are many ups and down in the attachment...my o and g posting was sucks....lecturer said i am very unplesant....hmm....sometimes it makes me think am i ?????hmm......today is my first day of school after two months of horror...wahah....let me update myself...
my mum had a n cholecystectomy done last two wks ago and i thought of going back brunei to take care of her but due to attachment...i cant go back...very worry about her...i watched 'she's the man' with brendy and melissa last wed...the movie was nice....the next movie that i wanted to watch is 'scary movie4', 'just my luck' or 'garfield2'.as for dear..he wanna watch 'almost love',a korena movie..hmm....dun know which should i watch...i bought a bag for brendy for her birthday.her birthday is this coming wed...this coming wed,we should be going k after my class at 3...
i hope i can ganbate this sem so that i can qualify as a RN....must really got to buck up...
| a simple day. 12:51 PM
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