Thursday, September 29, 2005
it has been a yr + i studied in nyp.there are times where i really like and times where i don like it at all.at first i don kinda like nyp coz of the study environment.it is totally different.but as time goes by,i started to like it coz of cca and the course itself is getting more and more interesting.well,now i don know y my eyes will go wet when i am chatting wif james abt what happen two days ago.i nvr expect that i will cry.i think i am too emotional leh.though i look tough but actually i am really very upset that i cant go for attachment.maybe i really don suit to be a good nurse after all.what is there a use when i am good hearted,patient and caring when i cant do my practicals well??cant pass the module means cannot go attachment?haiz...when got attachment i don wish to have attachment.when don have,i really :(.what happen?have i put all my hopes into nursing?i must be tough.cannot be so weak....jia u.
| a simple day. 5:32 PM
-----------------------------------
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
hm....how should i start?well,yesterday i got my bio pract test results and i got B+.but at the late evening miss eliana told me that i failed my hs2057.how can that be?i don even know where i go wrong and kinda couldnt expect that.i cant go for attachment at oct.i got to retake the supp theory paper and retake assessment at wk 17(though i passed).it is really unbelievable.i wanna find someone to take to but couldnt find any.really feel like crying yesterday.in order to forget abt this happening,i keep myself busy by doing my hs2036 presentation.i kinda disappointed coz cant get to go attachment.maybe i am looking forward to the attachment.haiz....don mention again la.
well,i need to really ganbatte.jus take it as i having a break.well now at nus lab wif james,a friend that i knew from siew.he is very funny lo.he asked for my blog address.but i didnt wanna give but but he go yahoo serach under 'siao shs brunei girl' and by luck he found it lo.so so so unbelievable.now waiting for siew to fininsh her class at 6pm then we go EAT.now a bit hungry.after that,we go study again.
| a simple day. 5:06 PM
-----------------------------------
Monday, September 26, 2005
my dearest friends,whoever is in trouble i will try to help.it is not a burden for me.though i myself do have some problems that cant be solve but still i will find ways to settle it.there is always a solution to a problem.well,maybe it really takes time ba.to me,friends are always there to help and share problems.don be afraid to tell.i will try my very best to help.eventhough i cant help much but at least i did my part.glad that u didnt get angry wif u for giving u a hard time.
now very damn tired coz yesterday sleep for abt few hrs.to be continue....zzZZZ
| a simple day. 3:07 PM
-----------------------------------
Friday, September 23, 2005
esp to ann,i m not helpng her say words.i am jus trying to make u two get back together.i know u are really upset abt this matter.i don wan to lost both close friends of mine in singapore.i really don wish to see that to happen.though i don usually share my problems wif u guys b4 but i now i did.i admit that i have been spending my time wif jmd friends more than u all.ann,no matter what,u don have to stay away.i understand how u feel coz i felt the same way when i got hurt but one of my closest friend.if u really cant take it,jus call me.i will be there lending u my shoulder.if u feel much better,u cry ba.thats wat friends are for.though we knew each other for abt a yr plus but still treasure our friendship.don wori.we will be friends forever.though u might not believe that there are true friends but jus wanna let u know that the moment where our friendship starts,i will remember ever moment we have together and the joys we have together.
no matter what your decision is i will still treat both of u as my close friends.i wont leave both of u two alone.we are friends...i don wish to lose both friends.friends are there to help u when u have problem.when u two end up like this,i am also very sad coz i tot of the times when we were together.y this things happen when i am trying to get more involve into the nn group?things really cant be solve ma?i really wanna help but how?
as for my good friend cases,i really wanna have a talk wif her over things but jus cant get to talk to her.i really wanna know what's happening between we two?i know i lied but i admit i did.i really wanna know what she is thinking now.have she forgiven me or still angry wif me?though i am still abit angry wif what she actually did but if we can jus talk things out and get things sort out,i think i will forgive her.i realy don wish to see that we actually end up to 'fan nian'.i don wish to lose u as a close friend and also i don wanna lost a friend.both are my friends...well,if u really make ur decision in choosing him,then i cant stop u.i am not asking u to choose,it is that i jus wan u to make the right choice before ur final decision.for me it is ok if u choose him coz as long as i know u are happy,i will be happy.i don wish to see u sad abt him after u make ur decision.some pp may think that i am trying to be 'wei ta' but actually i am not.thats the way i am.
i don know if u guys will read my blog or not but i hope u do coz at least u guys u know what am i thinking.sometimes words really hard to say from mouth.
| a simple day. 5:18 PM
-----------------------------------
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
many things happen between me and my friends.and i am very depressed.whoevr can help me settle this as soon as possible...i really confused.what should i do?i feel like crying.i have being treated like a dummy by her.who am i to her?good friend?she can do that bcoz of a guy she nvr meet before?then whats our friendship for?our friendship is nth as compared wif a relationship?though i admit that i did lie to her,but at least i tell her.i angry wif her coz she said smth that really hurt me and i really think hou sing mei u hou bau.not only that,she used me to test smth...how can she?she think i am a dummy?do u think it is fun playing this kind of game?being treated like a dummy and i don know anything at all?do u know how terrible i feel?if normal friend,i wont mind but she is my GOOD FRIEND LEH.i don really don know what should i do.so confused...i really don know who should i trust.should i jus forgive her or jus break our friendship?now my thinking is since she can did that bcoz of a guy,i really have nth to say.since he is so impt to her then jus forget abt our friendship and continue loving him.since u said i make ur relationship bad then jus treat it as i am bad gal.i cant control what u think.i really don wish this is the ending but i really don know what to do to rescue out friendship.there are few things that i can do.firstly,it is to break our friendship.second,maintain as friends but not that close.3rd,i choose to believe in what the guy said.fourth,both parties also become my enemy.i don wish to lost both parties coz both of them are my friends.haiz..i really don know what to do.feeling so lost.i am really disappointed wif my good friend.still get very hurt by her.as for the guy,hope u can cool down and listen to my explaination..this are the things that i wanna tell u but jus don know how to tell u coz i know u still angry wif me.this things make me so 'fan'for days and i cant even concentrate in studying my upcoming test on thursday.
as for my friends in singapore,i really don know what happen between them but i really don wish to see them like that.i wanna try to help but i dare not involve coz i learned a lesson from above.i really hope u two(ann and jo)can jus sit down and discuss abt ur problem.talk things out.things can be solve.don u know what u guys end up to be like that i also very sing tong?though i didnt say much but i actually very 'fan'abt whats going on abt u all.friends that often hang around can end up to be like that jus bcoz of a guy?does it worth?ann,i asked u one thing,jus think for urself.for example,if i asked u to give up on andrew bcoz i don like andrew,will u?of course i know u wont,rite?coz u really love him.though u said in this world there isnt such thing as forever but there is such things as present.as long as this moment he said he love u,he really do.so me as a friend,i still got to accept him as ur bf and wish u happy.this apply to what happen between u and jo.i am not against u or what.if i did hurt u,i apologise.i jus wan u to know the concept.i really don think it is worth losing a friend jus becoz of a guy u bu shuang only.now since you have make ur decision in not talking to jo,i also can do nth coz thats ur decision and can do nth abt it.ann,hope u understand that i am not trying to hurt u or what.
y do so many things happen these days?i really hope i can jus free my mind and don think.so confused.can someone be there lending me ur shoulder and be a listener?i really feel like crying and depressed.suddenly feel so lost.can anyone understand my difficulty?
| a simple day. 12:39 PM
-----------------------------------
Friday, September 16, 2005
good thing is i pass my assessment.though i don think i deserve a pass coz i did lots of mistake but i still pass la.now hopefully ann will pass her second atemp on tuesday.to ann,don think so much.everything will be jus fine.jus forget abt the past and think of present and future.think ahead.i understand that each pp have their own point of views but no matter what happen between us.we will always be friends coz once friendship start and will nvr end...tressure our friendship now or u will regret in the future.though sometimes u think that they might be happier w/out u around but maybe that isnt what they think leh.nvr assumed.this is only my point of view.ann hope u don get so upset abt this matter.we will be there if u need us.that's wat friends are for.
bad news is i am having many many problems.mostly on friendship.one is as mention above.no one would like to see their friends get hurt in any way.friends are there to help out when facing problems.sometimes being too helpful can lead to misunderstanding between friendship.can a relationship be more impt than friendship?sometimes i really wonder.if i were to choose between freindship and relationship,which will i choose?now i finally understand y pp can flirt so much.breaking up isnt the only solution to every problem.jus have to talk things out.things can be solve...that's my point of view only.if breaking up is the only decision,i will choose to respect them.i cant do nth also.what i can do is to wish u happy.
| a simple day. 2:11 PM
-----------------------------------
| a simple day. 2:11 PM
-----------------------------------
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
since u don wish to tell who you really are.lets forget abt this matter.i don bother who you really are and what you write.i don wan this to influence my study.u can keep on becoming ur anouymous and i don wanna bother.lets close this case and jus forget abt this matter.don mention it anymore.
sometimes i jus don know whether to be good pp or bad.sometimes being too nice also no good.pp will tend to think differently.pp who knows me quite well will know what kind of pp i am.i jus don wish to see pp argue and quarrel jus becoz of a small matter.small matter can be solved.i really find that there is no meaning in argueing.one of them jus have to give in.must know how to forgive.
| a simple day. 10:12 AM
-----------------------------------
Monday, September 12, 2005
to whoever the anoynous person is who are you?why do u wan me to have misunderstanding between me N gin?i really don know what's ur motive in doing it.if u are willing to tell me who u are,i wan to know ur reason what ur motive in doing this.if u able give me a good explanation,i will just forgive u if u surrender.pls don let me find out who u really is.if u let me know earlier,u maybe forgiven.maybe i did say smth wrong and u can tell me personally.i really don wan things to go on like this.this wont turn out to be good.lets settle this matter by myself.if u are against me,jus say.i rather u tell me the truth then i always make the mistake.PLS....PLS....if u wanna make trouble,make trouble wif me and don pull my other friends into trouble.they are innocent...
to whoever it is,i really wish to know who are u.if u don dare to say who are you,maybe u can jus send me a mail or sms or tell me personally who u are.i don wanna play guess.neither do i wan to play hide and seek.if u dare to say things that u know it hurts,y dont u dare to tell me ur personality..u know urself who u really are.things cant hide long.i rather u tell me urself than i find out myself.
though u didnt say anyhting abt me and her but most pp tot the person who is writing those comments are her.i know it wasnt her.pls...i don wish to lose a friend.i know u might be one of my friend in jmd.i also don wish to have conflirt between u so y cant u jus tell me who are you and forget abt this matter?i don wan things to get worst.
CAN EVERYTHING JUS BE SETTLE?I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.I KEEP ON ASKING MYSELF WHO ARE YOU?LET ME KNOW WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU.
| a simple day. 2:14 PM
-----------------------------------
Monday, September 05, 2005
during my 1wk study break,i went back to brunei.i really miss home.during my one wk there i didnt go out much.i stayed at home and study for my upcoming test...i don feel so much stress there..my mind is totally relaxed.yesterday before i departed from miri.i am supposed to meet my ah ko(kok fatt)but in the end we nvr meet coz when he reached that place where we were suppose to meet up,i am on my way to airport.kinda disappointed that i couldnt get to meet him coz i miss him alot(he is the one and only bro that so sayang me).hehe....he promised me to treat me eat steak de when i return to brunei.but so sad we don have fate to meet.early this morning abt 2+am,i received his msg.i was so surprised that he actually msg me.i nvr met him since i come to singapore.really miss him alot.well,i woke up and really him.when i reached singapore home,i got nag by my sis again.i don know wats up to her.she jus show her temper when she is unhappy.well,i jus have to get used to it.this wednesday i will have my theory test and nxt wk i will be having my bio practical test.haiz...test is all coming up.but i still miss home so kinda no more to study hard.this semenster i am kinda slack...maybe becoz i miss my parents too much...
ah ko,i know u will nvr read my blog but i jus wanna say that i believe that u arent that kind u pp that think u are.i know u very well.though u maybe flirting around but when u finally found someone u really love,u will be very loyal.like now,i feel so lucky to have u as my bro though not real one.all these time i wish to have a bro who care and sayang me but couldnt find.now i finally found u.maybe in my past life,i am really your sis..who knows...hehe.now i am not afraid of the dark anymore coz i know i am fortunate to have a bro like u and also good friends like ah lan and siew always by my side when i am in trouble.
| a simple day. 1:28 PM
-----------------------------------