Thursday, March 31, 2005
today woke up at 6.30am coz have to reach school by 8am for the dry run for my presentation at 9am..at first there decieded not to use the video so we changed plan..the last min they said that the video can be use so we changed back to our original plan but jus right before the presentation,they came out with some ideas so everything is jus like very mess up....this is the presentation that we keep it very simple.i don really put in all of effort in this presentation coz i focus more on my studies.overall...i think this presentation is kinda very mess up.well,i am having my lecture at 12 noon followed by clinical lab at 2pm till 4pm..
end of year 1....
now start studying for my semestral exams...time passes very fast...1 yr already in singapore..facing all kinds of difficulties and stresss...i am happy to get to know friends in my group especially the nn group-though we kinda seldom go out together..but i know all of u guys cares for me..and friends from jmd-we worked together as a family and also as a team.no matter wat difficulties we face,we will always encourage each other.
| a simple day. 11:11 AM
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Monday, March 28, 2005
it has been such a long tme i didnt blog...nowadays many things happened.i got scolded again yesterday for no reasons again(as usual),i didnt fight back the words...i still think that there is no point in telling her what i feel coz she didnt even understand how i feel...she wont never listen to what i say.feeling like jumping of from a very high building....i feel so useless coz cant help her.well,it is not that i don find ways but it is that i really have no choice...y does she have to force me to the death end?if i have $,i will followed what she wans me to do but now i don even have enough $ for my own self.when my mum send $,i always told her to send it to her first(though i myself need $,i will also said i have enough). sometimes i really think hou sing don have hou pau.ok let's forget abt the bad thing....
here comes today...
todays no much things happen.accompany joanne for assessment...she failed coz the lecturer is like rushing her doing the dressing...well,joanne...u have to ganbatte...examz is coming next two wks..i havent started my bio...i was looking for pyscho book but i cant find it in library...psycho book always difficult to find de...
happenings to me lately,
i knew new friends from anna...two of it is jay's fan..haha...finally got pp same idol with me and we have topic to talk abt leh...one of it is jj's friends....we were like agrueing between jay and jj...which is better...haha...well,of course to me,it is jay la...haha.there is a guy who likes both my idols...we were like talking abt both our idols mostly...
i also knew some friends from sp and np.....there are quiet...nth to talk when we first met.they are also anna's friend.well,nice knowing them..after i get to know them even more,i think that they are cute(especially when they are blur).their reaction very funny...haha...there is a guy in which i never will talk to coz i think he gave me a bad impression ba...ok.i think thats it for now.
| a simple day. 5:21 PM
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005
later in the evening i will be having hs1037 test..later then i go revise..i will be having exam on the 8 of april and ends at 15april...nowadays pp are busy with their own lifes including mine.yesterday i am supposed to watch movie with kian hou and other friends but in the end,he said he said he cant make it but he is at woodland playing lan game...-_-'''.so altogether there were 7 of us watching son of the mask...very funny.if kian hou got join,there will be abt 16pp...so many pp.i think he feel shy coz all my friends and he feel left out la so he ask his friends along...but never expect to be so many pp *o*.
recently,my life is full of fear and pressure...i felt the loneliness in myself when i am alone.i am afraid to be alone..who can i go to?i am lost in nowhere...everyone need love for their loved one but i don seems to have mine...that's y sometimes i got envy when i saw other pp so 'sing fu'.when will i get mine?i don know but i know i have u all as my friends,i am consider very 'sing fu'.for those who is always there for me when i need u,sori to bother u all the time .i am glad to have friends who cares for me(thanks m6 sister).
| a simple day. 11:36 AM
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Friday, March 18, 2005
todai in the morning i miss a pyscho lecture...i didnt know have lecture.i woke up at 9am then did some housework...then study for next wk test abit....when i reached school,we went to see our psycho result....i wasnt as unhappy as i get my bio result.i got D.kinda disappointed la.....i kept quiet for a while looking very pu suang...then while having bio lecture,crap and joke abit wih yan ni...we(our lecture group)so funny..we bullied the lecturer...the lecturer asked question and we never respond so the lecturer repeat and repeat his words again and again....i don know y....i got such a feeling that i will still get the same grades as before or it might get worse...nowadays feeling very tired coz i study very hard for my paper particularly bio and in the end getting such a result...i really no more strenght. should i put so much effort in my next paper?i am afraid i will get the same respond when i receive the result...haiz.....am i stressing myself?or am i expecting too much from myself?i wasnt like that before...i feel that i am expecting a lot from myself...last time,my thinking was as long as i passed,i am happy enough..but why i am not satified with my results(though i passed).is it the more i expect,the more i get stress out and my results will eventually drop? i kinda promise my mentor that i will do better than last sem and now i came out with almost the same result as last sem...y is it?how am i going to explain to her?wont she not allow me to work again?haiz...if i still get the same reult as before,i think it will be harder for me to get sponsorship in any of the hospital(in which it is another way of helping my sis) and even no chance for me to work outside neither.sianz.....trying to improve but in the end turn out to be rojak....
| a simple day. 4:08 PM
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Thursday, March 17, 2005
today, my mood is still very down but i tried not stress myself so much so i still maintain a smile....after yesterday's jmd session,i decided that i still bu sher de li kai jmd and also i still interested in learning....maybe it is beoz i am too stress nowadays so i feel like quiting bahz....today nth much happened.i found out that my psyco result will be out tml...kinda kan cheong....cant wait to see wat i will get.i didnt expect much from psyco coz i knew i got a lot of mistakes and hpoefully i can get at leat a C la...tml SEG night liau...brendy is going to perform.leon too.pp pls go and support her....she kept on practising at home nowadays..i think she is stress also la...jus hope that she will do her best in her singing tml....leon and brendy....u 2 must gambate.....jiayou.
| a simple day. 3:21 PM
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
todays i got my bio prac result....i kinda not satify with my result(though i got C+) coz i think i should have get even better than that...i expected to get at least an A or B but i got C.....feel very unbelievable coz the paper was kinda easy....i need to do extra extra well in my exam.i really don know wat she wan from me.....i already encounter alot of stress and she add on to my stress...i am late for home doesnt means that i always go out to play and waste money...y cant she jus trust me?when i tell her that i am at school studying,she doesnt seems to believe me...i really don know waht she wan from me...u always nag at me....dont think that i didnt care for u.i got think for u.i knew that u are in financial problem and so i try to find a solution for u by looking for a job but they jus don allow me to work...i stay out so late is also becoz i am trying to help u to reduce the water and electricity bill...y cant u built the trust in me?i am not doing something bad after all.u told me to do well in my study so that i can apply for sponsorship so i did wat u told me to do....then y cant u jus let me focus on my studies and get good grade for this sem?y do u keep on pressurising me?u always like to compare my life with urs...and i hate it.well, i can tell u that our life is totally different.....i hate to compare.sometimes after i went home,i really wish u have a good rest and free my mind from everything but then u started to nag here and there making me dont feel like talking to u.....sometimes though i know u care for me but y don u have to ask those question that is so difficult to answer...so i keep quiet coz i don know how to explain to u.is it really necessary for me to reply u evry single question u asked me even if i don know how to answer?when u encounter stress,u throw temper at me but nagging amd said things that u don realised that actually it really hurts...but how abt when i encounter stress?did i ever throw temper at u?
recently i don know y i have this thoughts of quiting jmd...i am really tired with my school work.now i know when i stand in jmd and i start to realised that i am can consider the 'stupiest'.i cant absord fast and cant dance as well as the others..i feel that i am 'unless'.seeing them having improvement and dance so well let me think that i will be the cause of the performances...i got put effort in learning as much as i could but it seems to be a waste coz i know no matter how much i try i will never reach up to the mountain.i will falll eventually when i reach the top.watever is not yours will not be yours...so now i am considering whether to quit jmd or not....i am really depress......i don feel like quiting is becoz i have put a lot of time and effort in jmd...it is also hard for me to find friends like them...and even get closer to them.i really don know i should or should not do that.today maybe my last day in jmd........sori people(if today is my last day).wat i wan to say is no matter i am still in jmd or not, u all will always be inside my heart and don forget that all of us have a deal with me..,i.e,we are friends forever....T_T.
| a simple day. 3:50 PM
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005
yesterday i had my prac test and i don know i am consider luck or unlucky coz lucky coz i got my own lecturer as my examiner...unlucky coz i think he isnt strict enough.jus got the feeling that i dont deserve the pass....well,its over coz no one can turn back time...next wk is my theory test then after that, i will be preparing for my semesteral exam which starts on 8 april till 15 april...after that my attachment starts from 9 may till 1 july...sianz....7 wks in hospital...i got to start studying now..if not,i think i will be leaving behind...i heard some of my frineds said that in order to get to yr2,we got to score average point above 2.2...scary,is it?last sem i got only 1.7.die...i think we'nn group' need to ganbatte....we need to find a day so as to encourage each other....i don wish to see any of us repeat and get left behind...if wan to pass,we pass together...wondering when will be uor bio prac and psyco result be out....hm.....hope that all of us get at least a pass(though i aimed quite high for myself).
| a simple day. 10:34 AM
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Friday, March 11, 2005
on wednesday,steve offically took over dan's place...he is now the president of jmd.hope that he can do his best as a president and i hope that he wont be so stress after he took over jmd.if you need any help or any comment or advise,we are willing to help u.don be afraid to ask....though dan is stepping down,but he still come back to help.i really hope dan will come back more oftenly.as for xm,he will be graduating soon and will not be coming to jmd so oftenly...i am kinda sad coz seeing everyone leaving jus like that.
to dan:i would like to said thanks to u. though i seldom talk to u in jmd,i can see that u arent as scary as i tot u are before. it is jus that we have nth much to talk abt...thanks for telling me where i stand and thanks for being a good listener.it is really hard to find an advisor like u...nice to know u.all the best in watever u do next time.
to shiang ming:well,though u havent graduate,i wanted to said thanks for being so patient with us. sometimes i am quite naughty but u dont dare to scold or anything. it is really hard to find a person who is patient enough...all i want to say now is hope u will get good grades for ur exams and get a good job in the future.
to steve:now u have become the president...i would like to congrate u.i believe it is kinda pressure to be a president of jmd.well,wat i can say is if u need our help,jus ask. we will be willing to help. another thing...don feel so stress...if need to talk, u can find us too. don keep everything inside...
| a simple day. 3:52 PM
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Monday, March 07, 2005
today i had my bio prac test...it was kinda easy.i aimed quite high this time...hopefully i can score at least a B..yesterday i tried to study(just revising)but cant absord.even this morning also...i tried very hard to absord something but jus cant...maybe too nervous.i feel black when i entered the prac room.it was very cool...so more.my next paper is psyco..haiz...i finished sudy already but i think not enough..later go and study again...jus now after my test,i went to mac and eat my lunch then i saw dan,selphie and prisca...i saw someone sitting beside dan but jus cant figure out who was that..he looks very familiar...not long after,i tot of someone,i.e,jae....it is really him...long time didnt see him liau...chat with him a while then i went back to my seat.nth much happened...now i am at e-plaza doing my work..started to become hardworking le....hehe...i don wan to think abt anything now.jus wanna get better grades than before.
| a simple day. 5:01 PM
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Saturday, March 05, 2005
yesterday i am supposed to celebrate with my classmates but last min all of them cant make it.so in the end,i went to watch movie with kian hou...we watched movie'hitch' at bukit batok.thatmovie was very funny..and comedy like.i laughed like hell...haah...very funny..later in the night i ahd a big arguement with my sis and i told her all my feeling...haiz...now she is still angry..jus wondering when will she cool down.haiz...now i am woodland library studying with chee ching and brendy.i still have one more chapter to go for my psyco...hope that i can did well...i feel so comfortable telling my sis how i feel.
| a simple day. 5:38 PM
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Friday, March 04, 2005
i have meeting at 1oam.it ended quite early.so i went to library to study.but in the end studying half way,i slept a while coz very tired.my whole right side very pain now coz we dance quite alot on wednesday.i kinda like jmd session on wednesday coz at least we know where we stand and can improve on where we are weak in.it is quite a sad thing that he cant be the president anymore.he is a good leader.though sometimes i am kinda afraid of him...ok back to yesterday,i met brendy for lunch then went to shopping arcade myself.on the way,there was heavy thunder and heavy rain...scared me...after that i asked anna accompanied me...we went to the library to study while waiting for brendy to finished class.then i suddenly feel like watching movie.later in the evening,we decided to watch movie but...cant make up our mind which movie to watch(howl's moving castle or white noise)...hm...then we go for howl's moving castle coz it started earlier than the white noise.it was a jap cartoon...i see the subtitle coz don understand jap...it was a nice movie.quite touching also.very romantic....thanks anna for lending me ur hp and sori coz u were late for ur lecture.
well,as for today,me and my classmates will be celebrting my birthday at pasir ris...later meeting them at 6pm so now planning to study psycology...my whole right side still very pain.
differences between love and likeIn front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.
In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.
If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.
In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.
In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.
You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.
When the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
But when the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.
So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever.
for pp ot there,if u still cant differenciate wat is love and wat is like.maybe this will help...as for me,i think i have knew the answer.
to special someone:
i am not angry with u anymore.i have think through...it is of no point me hating u and angry with u anymore.i hope that we can still be like before.i don wish to see our friendship to sank jus like that.friends start from a point and ends no way.i think we are 'you yen wu fen.'hope u don feel bad or wat.if u feel bad,i will feel extreme bad also.u arent the one to blame after all.my birthday wish now is to wish that we can start to be friend all over again.
| a simple day. 10:18 AM
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
nowadays i really unhappy coz i never hate a person so much until my heart feels the pain whenevr i see him.my eyes gets very pain.i think it is becoz i wanted to cry but the tears jus doesnt fall...i never get angry with some1 so much.as my friend said they never see me become angry before..thats wat i did when i am angry...they now have seen me becoming angry.after getting angry with u for last few nights,i tot i have forgiven u but in the end when i unblocked u from my msn(getting soft-hearted),i can still feel the hurt...so after we chat,i blocked u again.i will unblocked u again when i am not angry with u.i felt bad the first time i blocked u unknowingly...i jus hate myself for being so soft-hearted.well,now i am letting the bee to fly on its own looking for his own world...how i wish i can never see him for the time being but it is impossible coz if i do that,i am trying to avoid the reality.i told myself i got to be tough and face the truth so i decided to go to jmd today.i will never show u my weaker side.starting from now on,i will begin with my new life and never will bother wat u do...
| a simple day. 10:30 AM
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