Saturday, February 03, 2007

it has been months since i last updated...a lots of things happened...going to end course isnt a easy way to go... need to really buck up my work.this sem i dun know y i dun have the urge to open my book and revise as early and prepare for my exam...now on the cny mood...haha..a brand new year hopefully everything end up well..

| a simple day. 11:26 PM
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

sianz...i failed again....what happened to me these days?feel like crying but it just cant get out from my eyes....sianz...today not in a very good mood....sianz...can somebody cheer me up?just being my listener can do...feel like giving up le.....my fault??i didnt put in enuf effort?what exactly is enuf?very disappointed in myself.....

the world is full of ups and down,
some can climb up the mountain smoothly and some cant,
which am i?
do i belong to the one who will forever not reach the top of the mountain?

| a simple day. 9:05 AM
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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

am i doing the right or wrong things?
why does it have to end up like this?
is it my fault?
am i expect too much from myself and from others?
does things happened coz of me?
ah.......
getting so stress up,
wat to do?
what is she going to say to the rest?
will it make things worst or better?

| a simple day. 12:43 PM
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Monday, October 02, 2006

pract test today...i was veyr disappointed with myself.how can i have such a silly mistake???one single mistake and i failed...i can blame noone....i was there hoping for ETT intubation or suctioning..haiz..re test on next week...tuesday.well,a second attempt isnt something which is not expected for me but maybe i was hoping that i can do it smoothly on my first attempt...haiz...y am i hoping so much from myself??i am really trying my best to be a good in my pract and y cant i?everytime jus got to....am i slacking too much?where has i go wrong?haiz.....everyone said i can be a good nurse and i always there wondering am i?i wanna tell then thet i am but things have proven that i am not capable enough.maybe that is y i put so much hope on myself...looking at my results...i was there thinking,there are so many better grades students all ard,which hospital will wanna employ me?haiz....not good in this and that....jus too weak to stand up....too many competitors ard...

| a simple day. 12:19 PM
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Monday, September 25, 2006

feel very tired these days...
time is nvr enough...
y cant i bear a smile in me these time?
y do problems have to be there?
am i sensitive?
looking at thing at things ard me...
life isnt as simple as i tot it is...
feel like giving up nursing...
how?
what can i do?
somebody pls help...

| a simple day. 4:39 PM
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Thursday, September 21, 2006

these few days been working....after work,go work.though the pay is quite little itis better than nothing but things happened yesterday....after so many days of hard work,i lost my wallet after work....sianz...it is really unbelievable...where do i lost it?inside got quite a number of impt things...sianz...y am i so clumsy?sianz....got nag by my sis after work due to the lost wallet...sianz...after one whole day of school and work still gotta listen to her nag...y do i work?y do i work so hard?if its not becoz of the family,will i have to work while i am still studying?i work is also coz of her....sometimes i really dun know what she wan from me...feeling very hopeless these days....am i in depression?y do i have to be in the centre of everything?i think for others and do others know how i feel?sometimes it is not that i dun wan to talk to her but it is jus that everytime i talk to her,she will sure say things that make me feel that i am very hopeless....haiz....

| a simple day. 1:41 PM
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Friday, September 08, 2006

yesterday was napfa test...i was having fun there...though i know i definitely will fail de but i wanna try my best...i was stunted when i saw my mentor there.she drop by to encourage us.there were 1o of us in a group.so weak(like me) so strong...for those weak one,the rest encourages us to achieve our expected expectations...we encourages each other...this is the first time i saw few of us so united...as for the 2.4km..i cant make it already at the 5th round but i still continued.i didint expect that the one who encourages me and give me the motivation is sa sa,zahra and sarita...thanks for encouraging me to complete the 2.4km..though it was beyond the time limit...i am so touch....maybe i expected it was someone closer to me...who did that...but nevertheless i am glad to have them giving me the support esp my mentor...she wans me to finished it.thanks...my body slowly aches...i think it is due to not enough stretching...my final result is i failed2.one is standing board jump and the other is pull up...wahaha....it doesnt matter to me anyway but i found one thing here...is the unity.

| a simple day. 12:25 PM
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